


Lights Out

by Pupthemedurl



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 07:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19194238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pupthemedurl/pseuds/Pupthemedurl
Summary: Color has completely left the world, and Mingyu hopes to get it back.





	Lights Out

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: mentions of infidelity, depression, just a lot of sad shit
> 
> To add to the experience, listen to Lights Out by EXO while reading.

The world around him is painted in black and white. The lamps are on in the park, stark white orbs dotting the path making the soot black sky even darker. Frozen crystals rain down from a cloudless sky, forming a blanket over the dead grass.

 

Mingyu’s footsteps are loud and obtrusive against the silence of the park. Dead branches and fallen leaves crunch under his leather shoes as he treads along the pebbled path. His presence here is so intrusive, so unwelcome in this unkempt park, if the harsh way the wind whips at his face is anything to go by. But he keeps going, hands clenched into fists in the pockets of his coat, determined to make his way to the bench on the other side.

 

Mingyu knows he’s here. He has to be. It’s where they always went back when there was life in this world. He knows he’s here. He has to be, so he can apologize for breaking his heart.

 

His sigh of relief dances atop the wind and dissipates when he sees his silhouette on the bench, his back facing him. His clothing is black like his hair and the lifeless trees that litter the area, trying to blend in with the grayscale landscape. Despite this, the tips of his ears are tinted red from frost, betraying the fact that he is, in fact, very much alive.

 

“Seokmin,” Mingyu gently announces his presence, stepping through the snow as it rises past his ankles, “It’s me.”

 

“Who sent you?” Seokmin replies, voice edged with skepticism.

 

“I sent myself,” Mingyu states, standing behind the bench as he adds, “I came to apologize.”

 

“What for?” Seokmin feigns ignorance, but the tension in his tone suggests subtle rancor.

 

“For leaving you, when you needed me most.” Mingyu mutters solemnly, throat tightening as he tries to gauge Seokmin’s reaction.

 

“Why did you choose now to come to me?” Seokmin inquires, bitter as he asks, “Are we the only two left?”

 

“No, at least I hope not.” Mingyu informs him, finally working up the nerve to look over Seokmin's shoulder. A rich green hue slowly permeates from Seokmin’s feet, the snow receding as the grass rises from the trodden dirt in a small circle by his feet.

 

Seokmin is still just as handsome as ever, with sharp features and coiffed hair, but Mingyu notices with dismay that joy has completely left his dark eyes. His hands are clenched tightly on his lap, fingers laced together and retaining their tan hue despite being fully exposed to the winds of winter.

 

“Seokmin, I’m so sorry.” Mingyu’s apology borders on desperate in tone, “I'm so sorry I hurt you. I don’t know what I was thinking, being with her when-”

 

“It doesn’t matter.” Seokmin cuts him off curly, his words clipped with resentment, “That’s what I’ve come to realize in these past months. None of us, none of this, ever mattered.”

 

“What are you talking about?” Mingyu steps back, taken back by the dull ache  that wracks his heart. He’s not sure what hurts more, Seokmin’s words, or the cold animosity in his voice.

 

“It’s like the colors,” Seokmin notes, nodding to the grayscale landscape of the world in front of them. An arrangement of ashen dusk forms the town across the street, white snow coating the roofs and blending with the dark sky.

 

“We think we need them because that’s what we’re taught,” Seokmin continues, refusing to look Mingyu in the eye, “We’re taught that they make life better, that life itself is nothing without them. They bombard us with color, the merits of color, the wonders of color, every chance they get in every aspect of life.”

 

Mingyu’s heart pounds heavily in his chest, sorrow coursing through him with each beat as he wonders how Seokmin became so jaded. What happened to him since he left?

 

“Love is the same way.” Seokmin’s words are accepted in this space, as Mingyu receives a reprieve from the harsh chill as Seokmin speaks, “Like everyone, I thought it was the end all be all, the epitome of fulfillment. But you drifted away, and yet my life went on. Somehow, like this world, life went on.”

 

“The trees are dead, Seokmin,” Mingyu counters adamantly, “The grass is dead, the flowers are dead. Look around you, everything’s dead.”

 

“I’m not dead,” Seokmin points out without missing a beat, “And neither are you.”

 

An exasperated groan flares from Mingyu’s lips in a puff of gray frost, and an icy sensation shoots through his hands as he grips the back of the bench, “Look at me.”

 

Mingyu regrets that demand within moments as Seokmin faces him, and he’s confronted with the anguish that darkens his expression, and the subtle ire that brightens his eyes, all because of him. Desperation courses through him, and fuels the words that rapidly spill from his mouth.

 

“Seokmin, I love you. I love you more than anyone, than anything. Your world may be fine without color, but mine isn’t. I need you to brighten my life again,” Mingyu trails off as he runs out of breath, letting out a shaky exhale as he admits, “You’re the only one who ever did.”

 

And Seokmin laughs, a harsh, hostile sound that cuts deeper than any knife. Mingyu feels his heart racing in distress, gazing wide eyed at the man before him. The corners of Seokmin’s lips lift in what can only be described as a sneer, because it’s certainly no smile, “Well, you sure picked a good time to tell me. Don’t you think I would have liked to hear that months ago? Back when I was in my own darkness while you left me in the shadows? Back when I could have used some light in my life while you kept changing the lightbulbs on yours?”

 

Mingyu winces at the harshness of his words as he’s forced to confront the truth about what happened. He tries to speak, choking on his words as the tightness in his throat forms a lump.

 

“You weren’t around,” Is Mingyu’s woeful reply, “It was so cold and empty without you I didn’t know what else to do. I just wanted to be warm. The sun was hidden by the clouds and I just wanted to be warm so bad. I missed the sun so much I replaced it with fire, and I didn’t care that it burns.”

 

“And you couldn’t get yourself a lamp?” Seokmin scowls, his inquiry cut off with a snap.

 

“That’s not enough to keep me warm. That’s not enough to keep anyone warm. Forgive me for thinking the sun would do that, like it had been before.” Mingyu snaps back, mirroring the anger on Seokmin’s face, “Did you ever think that I needed you too? That I needed you to erase _my_ shadows? You weren’t there Seokmin. You were almost never there anymore, and I got tired of being in that cold empty house by myself.”

 

“Do you know where I was when I wasn’t  home?” The volume of Seokmin’s voice rises just a bit as the wind picks up again, bringing with it an almost unbearable chill, “I was right here, on this bench, watching the world around me get darker and darker.”

 

“How was I supposed to know?” Mingyu quips, “You never answered when I called. For all I know, you were changing your own lightbulbs.”

 

“Because this is our spot!” Seokmin shouts, and the lamps seem to gleam as bright as the outrage in his eyes, “When you look for someone you care about, don’t you go to their usual spots?”

 

Mingyu’s words are unsteady as they tumble from his lips, puffs of frost billowing furiously from them, “I didn’t know you needed me to look for you. Whenever you did come back, you never talked to me, about anything. You just treated me like a stranger in our own home. I didn’t think you needed me anymore.”

 

“Then why did you stay with me all that time?” Seokmin challenges, glaring at his former lover.

 

“The same reason you left, I suppose,” Is Mingyu’s surprisingly calm response.

 

Seokmin laughs again, the same piercing pitch as the whistle on the wind, “I thought you came here to apologize.”

 

“I did,” Mingyu sighs, heavy and full of melancholy, “Everything hurts so much since you’ve been gone. Everything just got so much worse.”

 

“And what, you want me to relieve your pain?” Seokmin mocks him with a quick, humorless chuckle, that ugly sneer distorting his mouth, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m not your painkiller, Mingyu.”

 

Never did he think he’d be so uncomfortable hearing his own name, and he grimaces at his words before falling silent.

 

Moments pass, time slowing down as the snowflakes take their time falling to the ground. Mingyu flinches as Seokmin stands to leave, eyes stinging with longing as he says, “It looks like there’s nothing more to say. Goodbye Mingyu. I wish I could say it was good to see you again.”

 

And that’s how Seokmin leaves him, leather shoes softly crunching the snow into footprints as he walks away. Through a veil of coming tears Mingyu watches as the grass where his feet were shrivel to black, shivering as snow covers the spot.


End file.
